Depression / Anxiety and Youtube.

Hey Guys.

I have over 500 friends on facebook, a lot of which are meaningless numbers. I find myself thinking back to the people I used to know and remembering that I don't exist to them anymore. We all used to be so close, they all still hang out but don't invite me.

I have just done one of the biggest projects musically I have ever done in my life. It was ambitious, it was a gamble and still has the potential to, excuse the expression, go tits up ... But I wanted to remain positive and go for it ... so I did. The day it dropped, I posted about it on facebook, nobody cared. Not one person that I used to know could even muster the energy to say "Good Job" or even acknowledge my work. I had been working on it all year and nobody gave a damn. I put in time, effort, money and all I wanted in return was for somebody to watch it and just tell me they liked it ... Somebody that I was once friends with. That would have meant the world. Instead, I released it and the world never seemed so silent. No likes, no comments.

I had an argument with my friend. She said I spam too much. She is kinda a big deal on youtube and has been for like 4 years now (not naming names) and I responded with
"Remember when you were struggling and doing everything you could to promote your channel ? .. Thats what I am trying to do now, I need to do it ... I know its annoying but I am in a position now where I feel like I need to be pushing my channel, I would have thought you would have understood how difficult it is and this place is the only place anybody gives a shit anymore"

I helped her when she got frustrated with being unrecognised and when I am struggling with the same thing, she thanks me with that. Basically just turning around and telling me to stop because it was annoying them. I jsut feel like I ahve nobody sometimes, I feel like my work doesn't get the recognition it deserves sometimes. I don't want to moan, but I need some help and I feel liek the best way to help myself, since none of my friend will bother, is to rant a bit and get it off my chest.

This is taking a dark turn but I often hate the thought that if I died tomorrow they would all be writing on my wall "oh i miss you, r.i.p" but I dont even exist to them anymore while I am alive. I feel like I am invisible to the people I used to call friends. I try to be supportive if something really means a lot to somebody, I will share, talk about it or just tell them "That's pretty good". It got to the point where I was pretty much begging people on facebook to check it out, resorting to "If you only ever watch one thing I do ... it should be this .. .this is my best work" hoping some people may be enticed, but alas ... nothing. It makes you wonder what the fucking point in friends and doing what you are doing is ... Sometimes it makes you even question what the purpose of being alive is when nobody cares. Am I alone in this ? I just want some advice, help / support or something.

Thanks

Johnny

dont ever worry about your feelings Johnny life can be difficult as far to many of us at the homeloaf including Dave know, but we are all together and willing to support

Hey, Johhny
It so bad to read that. It's bad that many peoples are fake and just go away when you are no longer needed by them. Unfortunately, for this world to work bad and good things must happening. I faced many "for some time friends" and I know how it hurts (like many people probably to not say everyone) and that make me shy. Don't ever allow people to bring you down. You define yourself, not them. It'll get better. It always does. It's just matter of time. If you have anything to show just show it there, I'm sure there will be people wanting checking out. If you want to talk, how about chat a bit on facebook or something? I'm person who just love helping, so I'm always here if anyone needs any.

Hello Johnny. You're not alone. Don't know what to say/write but don't give up. It's hard to get people acknowledge you sometimes, even friends. I've had friends in the past but it's like they don't even exist anymore. Sometimes I feel very lonely at times when I had a bad day but I just try to see past the bad and just give it my best to make it to become the person I want to become. Follow your dreams and never give up.

Bummer

Hey, Johnny, you're not alone. There are so many who are in the same boat as you over here and can help you out when you need it. Just give us a shoutout and we'll do whatever we can.

Don't give up.

Hello, and welcome to the forums.

First off, I am terribly sorry for your musical endeavor -- more sympathetic I could not be. I know exactly what it's like to share something really meaningful over a social medium only to find it not really get much attention. I have this massive issue with being self-conscious about everything that I do with regards to music production, and I feel like a lot of it really stems from the fact that I simply can't tell if anyone is enjoying what I'm doing. That's not the purpose of music creation, though -- it is a form of expression.

I had released something on Facebook and it got next to no attention by any of the people that I considered friends. It hurt a bit.

I'd be interested in hearing your stuff..

We are all there at one point. I just had a release party for a song I've been working on for almost a year. I even had to put it on the backburner because the person who originally wanted to release it just disappeared. But we found a new label, and things started to pick up again (hence the release party).

Just keep working. As for the friends, sounds like you need to find new ones

Hey Johnny, you are most definitely not alone, in fact I could almost have written what you have myself - except for the musical project, since I have pretty much zero talent in that area

I get so frustrated, and yea depressed, at times with feeling invisible and ignored.  I pretty much have no-one around me that I can call a friend and it hurts. I used to have friends back when I used to go out and party.. but I can't do that stuff now (single mum) and all the "friends" just disappeared.  I have been in this house for 4 and a half years. In the whole of that time I have had 1 visitor (other than my parents/brother and kids dad)  You are not alone in feeling alone... and it does suck.  Can you use these feelings to motivate you in your music in any way?  I don't know exactly what you do musically, but maybe you can get something positive out of it that way!

I have often thought that social media, great though it is, can often be very isolating at the same time.  Its something I feel in myself a lot of the time.

I haven't yet discovered my talent (and I am 34!), but you are part of the homeloaf now, so I am sure there are plenty of really talented slices that would love to hear your stuff, give advice and help ya out! (I am definitely willing to listen/watch, but can't promise much in the way of good advice on technical type stuffs )

Take Care
Nikki x