Today, I got a rare treat when checking me e-mails. It was a notification of sale for my latest album on bandcamp. I really appreciate it when people buy my music ... Hell I really appreciate it when people so much as listen to it, but the fact the purchased it just amazes me and I get this warm, fuzzy feeling. I always make sure to write back to people individually to thank them for their support too.
However, Sometimes, when the euphoria dies down, I get anxious and think things like:
"There are far better produced things out there people could buy with their money"
And feel kinda bad that somebody has had to shell out money for my music. (Notice the word "Had", I know they didn't have to, they obviously liked my music enough to want to buy it) which is great but sometimes, I guess, I just feel like my music isn't worth peoples money.
At the same time, however, when I spend so much time making these albums (About a year on average) that part of me thinks it is well deserved and if they like it, who am I to argue.
I don't want anybody to be under the impression I am ungrateful, As I am not, Just conflicted but still extremely appreciative.
I think maybe its because I spent so long making it and listening and re-listening to the tracks to get the mixes as clean as possible and a few months later I find myself thinking "My god ... I should have done that with this part" or ... "That vocal could have probably used ..." ect.
I know it is good to be critical of ones old work, And this shows I am thinking more critically and learning and developing, meaning my third album should be MILES better when I finally get around to it but then I feel as if people are paying for something that I deemed "Finished and awesome" and the time and less so now ... Something unfinished, with flaws and then I feel bad and get down about it. Is this normal ?
I am guessing it is good in a sense as it is pushing me to go above and beyond production wise every new album I make and I can, realistically, only get better from this point, but I just hate feeling bad that somebody was kind enough to buy my music and support me.
I hope this makes sense to somebody, Replies would be really appreciated. Thanks